this will be quick because i MUST go to bed! Today might have been our best day yet in terms of steps taken with our kids. I see that Art went really "easy" on me in his last post when he shared how Savanna preferred him over me. The truth is, she would completely lose it when Art left her with me, screaming, etc. (One afternoon I was carrying her during one of those times, and she was even reaching out to total strangers in a "please take me" position!) But today when Art, Samuel and Silas left for Giterama, she cried, but then began to calm herself much more quickly. She only cried once or twice after that, asking the bus driver 'where is my father?', but really had a great day. She took a nap for me, and even took 2 walks with me WITHOUT Art when he got home. The biggest step of all - she let me tickle her and laughed for me/with me.

So, maybe I did give her 5 packs of fruit snacks during our shopping trip and let her eat french fries and a milkshake for lunch....whatever works at this point!

Art and the boys had an AMAZING day at the project and home of our compassion child. I'll let him fill in the details for you later, but it was an incredible experience, and we now know first-hand what an incredible organization Compassion International is in making a major difference in entire families around the world. I'll try to post some photos before drifting off..thanks again for all the prayers - keep 'em comin'!

Still learning in Rwanda

Each day we learn more about our new children, and each day we realize how much we just don't know. We know many of you are praying for our family during this time and checking the blog for updates, and we know the updates have been slow in coming. Honestly, each night when we make it to bedtime we are so exhausted that we can't post an update. Today I'm writing at 2:15 PM because Shelly has Samuel out for a walk, and Savanna has finally drifted off to sleep for her 1st nap with us (after 30 minutes of crying, etc.).

Samuel (or, as his sister says, "Sa-moo-elle") is doing pretty well over all, and we think most of his issues are related to language barrier and/or just getting used to us. He's already picking up English words and seems to enjoy learning to say things in our language. He will occasionally get a distant, despondent look on his face, but for the most part he is a happy kid who seems to be enjoying his new family. At times he does not like being told no and will moan and pull away from us, but he usually recovers pretty quickly. Today we went to a local park and he jumped on a trampoline for what we think was his 1st time...he loved it. He is usually the 1st to wake in the morning (by 6AM) but thankfully he stays very quiet and in bed, occasionally propping himself up to see if anyone else is awake yet. He is basically potty trained...only the one accident on Day 1 since we've been here. We've quickly learned to recognize his look when he has to go to the potty...his eyes get huge and his face has a "we need to take care of this immediately look". And, as we've said previously, he loves to wash his hands.

Savanna (we're still thinking that's what we'll name her, but we're actually considering other options now) has begun to come out of her shell, although what we see from her is much less consistent than what we see from Samuel...there are times we can make her laugh, and other times we do the same things and we get a stone-faced look. Her given name is Imelda, and Samuel calls her "E-mell-E-dah" or "Mellie"....we like the sound of both. Today we learned her last name (Umuhoza) means "the one who will wipe away your tears"...since we've seen lots of her tears, hopefully that applies to herself as well. Each day we see more from her...her smiles the past few days have remained rare but become relatively more frequent, and only today were we actually able to capture one on camera (Silas helped produce it and she didn't know the camera was around). She has also begun to try some English words, and calls us "Mama" and "Daddy" or "Papa". She is both physically strong and strong-willed, and although bigger than Samuel or Josiah, it's certainly easy to believe her estimated age of 3 years old is probably close based on her behavior. She has generally felt more comfortable with me than Shelly, although I've also upset her on occasion. Yesterday we saw her passport picture taken 2 weeks ago, and she had lots of hair...however, she has very little now. Our POA explained that the other children in the orphanage were jealous of her hairdo and getting a family, so they pulled much of it out...in fact, today we shaved her head (per our POA's recommendation) so her hair growth can start over.

Each day we learn more but also realize there's so much we do not know. How much is due to what they've experienced in their brief lives? How much will change once we get them home and in a routine (living in a hotel room with 5 people is not easy)? Both Shelly and I are struggling with choosing the right issues to address and keeping up with them, and how to parent these children in the best way possible...suffice to say, there haven't been times when we've said "Oh, remember when Silas (or Josiah) did that, and this is what we did that worked"...it's been a totally different challenge, and obviously, having 2 instead of 1 has made it more challenging. We're consistently praying for wisdom, patience, and discernment.

Our paperwork here in Kigali is basically done, and the rest of this week will involve doing some fun things and continuing to get to know our new children. Tomorrow Silas, Samuel, and I will travel to Gitarama to meet Manzi, our Compassion child. Shelly and Savanna will shop in the morning, then our POA will babysit Savanna and other kids while the adults go to a genocide memorial here in Kigali (hopefully I'll return from Gitarama in time to attend). Sunday we travel to Nairobi and do all we can to get our visas next week so we can return home at the end of the week.

We miss Josiah and are eager to return home so our family can be together. Thanks for your prayerful support!

One worn out family!

sorry no post last night - we were all in bed and pretty much asleep by 8:30pm. I'm falling asleep right now, so this will be short! Thanks for continued prayers! We saw many baby steps today, but also larger challenges in dealing with language barrier, fear, correction, etc. Savanna Imelda is slowly coming out of her shell - many smiles today (mommy even got to see a few). She still only prefers daddy - had a major meltdown on the bus when he went inside immigration office and she had to stay with mommy and siblings. Samuel seems to be prefering mommy and this point (possibly because Savanna is attached to daddy like another appendage?) Savanna has started repeating some English words for us, and has learned to give daddy a "look" when she needs to potty! (BIG steps!) They are both EXTREMELY active and remind me of 2 year olds as far as "getting into everything" goes! Whew! have we got our work cut out for us! This is partly because of all the new sights, smells, sounds, experiences they are getting. We hope that coming home will help with control and consistency.

All of the paperwork is finished! Spent most of today in Immigration office, US Embassy, and Rwandan Ministry of Family and Children...at least the US Embassy was air conditioned! Tomorrow will be a "free" morning, then lunch, then a tour of their orphanage during the late afternoon.

Again, sorry for no photos and less detail, but I need sleep!

Samuel and Savanna LOVE socks! Samuel laughed hysterically when we put them on, he was so excited!

Samuel is incredibly talented at anything to do with a ball - kicking, throwing, catching, etc.

Savanna loves chocolate sauce. (who wouldn't?) and stickers.


Again, sorry for no photos and less detail, but I need sleep!

Today was another good but very tiring day for all of us. We spent the late morning with all of the other families at a restaurant. Savanna was still very quiet, expressionless, and showed no emotional responses other than just staring at us. So we did what all good and wise parents do and ordered her a chocolate milkshake! By the time she was done with it (while sitting in her father's lap), she began pointing to other drinks on the table that she wanted to taste (mom's coke, dad's sprite, etc.). This was HUGE! Her first obvious communication with us! She then proceeded to play cars with her brothers and the other children her age that were adopted by the other families. Silas came and told me twice that she smiled - i missed it both times of course. Samuel did well also, still loving Art and Silas (by the way, the only detail Art did not make clear in yesterday's blog, probably out of humility, is that Samuel is absolutely in LOVE with his "daddy"! He loves being held by Art, tickled by Art, wrestling with Art, repeating every word Art asks him to say, etc.) I can't say enough how helpful it has been that Art learned many Rwandan phrases and words before we came here. Anyway, Samuel had another fruit drink and LOVED it....of course, he also loved my coke, Art's sprite, and basically anything that is offered to him (or not offered to him). One of the few other times Savanna "communicated" with us was when Art put ketchup on Samuel's plate. She began to make a noise and push some food over on her plate to make room! (coke and ketchup...children after my own heart)...

After lunch it was back to the hotel, where we played with the kids in the courtyard and then went inside during a rain. The kids all enjoy playing outside together (especially with the other Rwandan children they know). Silas is an AMAZING brother, so patient with the kids and extremely helpful! We had some downs in the day too, one of which included another large "unannounced" poop from Imelda that once again covered the legs, shoes, floor, etc. before we could stop it. This was very upsetting to her, as she was already very sleepy. I can't imagine what she is thinking or feeling in this brand new and somewhat shocking environment. Bringing them to the hotel tomorrow for good should help a lot with continuity, consistency and eventually trust.

But finally, it was daddy again to the rescue - he actually made her smile on the bus home! of course, when he tried to get her to do it for me, she put on the guarded look once again, and she cried buckets of tears when I tried to pry her away from him to hug her goodbye.... It was a little hard for me in that moment, but I'm honestly just so glad that neither of the children are afraid of Art (as happens often since they usually have never seen a white male). We keep reminding ourselves what we've known all along...this will be a process, not a "moment".....Both of the children are calling us "mama" and "daddy", which sounds really cool...especially from Savanna who has said so few words to us so far!

Even Silas hated leaving them at the orphanage again today...did I mention how wonderful he's been?... But from tomorrow morning at 7:00 until we leave, they are with us 24-7, so we are taking advantage of a much needed good night's sleep tonight.

tidbits:
Samuel LOVES candy (which he calls "bon bons") - going so far as to try to get the broken pieces we throw away out of the garbage to put them in his mouth again...

Savanna loves holding her cars (only puts them down to potty or wash hands!)

Samuel plays HARD! a future athlete, perhaps? but also "drums" with whatever objects are in his hands (and has great rhythm)

Savanna loves to be held, and puts both arms around you in a hug the whole time!

They both love bubbles and admire their big brother.

They both love washing their hands!..over and over...


Please pray for rest for us and wisdom as we deal with challenges physically, mentally and emotionally that accompany this adventure! Also, please say a prayer for my health (which has been GREAT, by the way), but I'm coming down with laryngitis - hopefully caused by allergies and not a cold. We feel incredibly blessed! We'll try to post when able, but may not have as much time or energy once the children join us full-time tomorrow. I'll try to post some new photos if I can figure out how tonight before turning in!

Meeting Samuel and Savanna

It's almost midnight as I type this is the hall outside our room (trying anything I can do to speed up a slow internet connection)...hope to also upload pics and perhaps a video later, but will likely do that while I sleep.

This morning we drove to the orphanage to meet our new children. It's difficult to find words to convey exactly how we felt, but suffice to say it was an amazing day. After arriving at the orphanage, we entered a small room to wait. A few minutes later, our POA walked into the room along with Samuel and Savanna. From that point on, here's a list of experiences we had this day:

1.) When our POA arrived in Samuel's room to pick him and and tell him we were there, he told her "I'm going to hug my Papa." And when he walked into the room, that's exactly what he did...he walked right up to me and gave me a big hug.

2.) Savanna entered the room, walked toward Shelly, and held her arms open for a hug.

3.) A huge role reversal from what was anticipated: In all pictures we were sent, Samuel never smiled once. Savanna had a big smile in one of them. Also, our POA had told us Samuel could be shy, whereas Savanna could be a bit feisty and talkative. Instead, Savanna was very quiet most of the day, simply sitting in one of our laps and watching the activity around her. Samuel, on the other hand, immediately warmed up when we left the meeting room, began smiling, talking and laughing, and showed what a happy kid he is. Just goes to show you that pictures don't give the whole picture, and you never know how kids are going to act when they 1st meet their parents.

4.) Having Silas here was a huge help. The kids warmed up to him almost immediately...he played with them, blew bubbles with them, made them laugh, shared his milkshake, helped keep them out of trouble,...just an amazing "Big Brother" day. It wore him out.

5.) After leaving the orphanage, we went to eat their 1st lunch out. The highlights? The kids scarfed down their food, tasted ketchup for seemingly the 1st time and loved it (dipping fingers over and over in it), enjoyed chocolate shakes and a strawberry freeze, ate meatballs, played with cars on the table...Samuel even walked over to a man at another table and got food from him to eat.

6.) One thing we noticed all day...when we gave the kids something, they tended to clutch it. Example: Both held a toy car we gave them for much of the day. Each carried around a cracker for much of the day (although Samuel did put his on the bathroom floor when it was time to wash his hands...obviously he's hygiene-focused...so proud of him for washing his hands...he enjoyed it so much he washed 4 times after one potty episode and I finally had to pry the soap from his hands). Near the end of the day, Savanna was holding so much stuff she'd accumulated that she had trouble carrying it all. Samuel, after Shelly showed him his suitcase, would periodically pick up cars the rest of the afternoon and put them in a zippered pocket on his suitcase).

7.) The kids have been loved by the nuns and nannies at the orphanage, and by our POA.

8.) Silas' favorite part of the day was playing 1-on-1 dodgeball in our hotel room with Samuel while we waited out an African rain storm.

9.) Samuel was so curious...flushing toilets amazed him, and he opened every item in Shelly's makeup bag that he could get his hands on.

10.) To Shelly's delight, Samuel repeatedly touched her arm and called her "Mama" during lunch and throughout the day.

11.) Lowlight #1: Two poop/pee emergencies simultaneously...Shelly dealing with massive poop with Savanna (all over her) in the restroom while I ran with Samuel to our back patio (2nd floor...look out below) when he began peeing with no toilet available. Overall some potty training has occurred, we're just not sure how much (granted, today was an abnormal day for all of us, and the kids drank more than just about any kids I've ever seen).

12.) Lowlight #2 (and the hardest thing for Silas): Taking the kids back to the orphanage by 5pm, as they must stay there during nights until we pick up our travel letter on Monday. However, they're old enough to know we're coming back for them tomorrow and they've had friends who've been adopted previously, so our POA says they know the drill.

Tomorrow it's back to the orphanage in the morning to see them again...in the afternoon we'll return them and then tour a genocide memorial here in Kigali (Silas will hang out with our POA's son and not go to the memorial). How will Day 2 go? Who knows, but it was a great Day 1, and we're looking forward to tomorrow with great anticipation. Our POA assures us we have yet to see Savanna's real personality, so if Samuel is in fact the shy one...WOW...

We've arrived in Kigali

Sorry there's been no update since Tuesday night, but we've been on the road (or more accurately, in the air) since then. On Wednesday morning, we flew from ABQ to Houston. After a 4+ hour layover, we boarded a huge plane and traveled almost 15 hours to Dubai. FYI, we flew on Emirates Airlines, and it was very nice...seemed to have more leg room than usual, an incredible entertainment system (movies/tv shows on demand, video games, etc.), helpful staff, good food...can highly recommend it. We arrived in Dubai and spent the night at the Millineum Airport Hotel. Since Silas slept most of the flight to Dubai and we arrived at 7:45PM local, after sleeping a few hours that night he woke up wide awake at 3:30 AM. I was also very awake, so we went downstairs for a late night snack and then hired a cab to take us to see the Burj Dubai, which is the tallest building in the world. Even at night, it was an impressive sight. After returning to our room and showering, we joined Shelly for breakfast and then we headed to the Dubai airport, where we met the Watsons, a couple from California who are also adopting from Rwanda and are in our travel group. They're adopting a 9-month old boy who will be their 1st child, and his parents are accompanying them on the trip...very nice people, all 4 of them. A 5-hour flight to Nairobi, a 2-hour layover, and then a 90-minute flight to Kigali, and suddenly (seems strange to say that after 23.5 flight hours to get here) we're in Rwanda.

Rwanda is beautiful. Lush green, lots of hills, huge skies (like New Mexico)...absolutely beautiful. After clearing customs and collecting our bags, we met our POA. After checking into our hotel, we joined her for dinner and lots of questions and conversations. "N" is such a great person, and we learned so much by asking her questions and listening to her explain about life in Rwanda, adoption in Rwanda, etc.

We're now back in our hotel room. The travel has exhausted all of us (especially Silas, but he's handled it very well).

At approximately 9AM local time tomorrow morning (midnight MST tonight), we'll meet Samuel and Savanna for the 1st time. Our POA described Samuel as shy, and Savanna as feisty and very talkative...should be amazing. We'll try to post pics as soon as we can (possibly short video clips, although Internet speeds are pretty slow)...we'll actually take the kids from the orphanage back to our hotel tomorrow before returning them to the orphanage by 5PM. 3 more families arrive after lunch, and 3 more after dinner. Good night!