the jealousy of God

Exodus 34:14

“Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.”

So, I was sitting in a small discussion group during Bible Study this morning when God decided to give me an amazing picture of how I could apply this verse to my own life…

Across the circle from me sat a mom with a new-born baby girl snuggled up to her chest, held in one of those new-fangled-hands-free-snuggly-wrap-type things.  (I’m sure there’s a shorter name for them, but alas, they did not exist when my 2 bio kids were babies…)  Anyway, because she was held safely and securely against her mama’s chest, mom was able to use one hand to hold her Bible Lesson, and with the other, she continually rubbed the baby’s back and gently patted her cute little tushee. (the baby’s….just clarifyin’)…

Anyway, I couldn’t help but notice how peacefully the baby rested next to the heart-beat of the one who loved her most passionately, under the affectionate touch of the one who could meet her every need for comfort and serenity.  And then I felt a strange sense of jealousy…

NOT BECAUSE I WANTED A BABY…. (again, just felt the need to clarify!)  but because I know that my 2 adopted kids would not be experiencing the challenges and struggles they have now if they had had that kind of security, affection and love their first 3-4 years of life.  But they didn’t.  They were abandoned, neglected and left to live by their own sheer will.  (Note:  this is not a criticism of their birth-mommas, who I am so thankful chose LIFE for these babies to start with…just stating the facts of their life, pre-family).  My heart ached for what they missed out on, and the COST it continues to have on their little lives.   And I was jealous for what could have – SHOULD have - been theirs…

Rwanda 2009

And that’s when God spoke.  (Cause He’s not content to just “leave well enough alone”J) 

“Shelly, now maybe you get it.  That’s why I am a jealous God for my own.  I KNOW what can be yours when you stay nestled to my breast, abiding in me, trusting in me, looking to me ALONE for your affection.  And I ACHE for what you miss out on when you DON’T.  I would rather do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep you close to my heart than for you to experience the HIGH COST of straying from my presence and my will.  My jealousy does not come from a place of ego, but from a heart of deep and sacrificial love.   I want the BEST for you, and I know too well the struggles and challenges you will face when you are not fully RESTING in my perfect love.”

My thoughts, choices and attitudes so many times of late have been keeping me from the safety and security of resting in Him.  Leading me away from his best.  And there is always a cost.  He loves me too much to sit by idly and be “okay” with it.  His name is JEALOUS.  And He is jealous for ME.