As I write this post, my 5 boys (this number includes the daddy and the canine) are in the den watching the season finale of Clone Wars. Savanna has drifted off to sleep and I am putting off the 1000 other things I should be doing right now. (Why ruin a peaceful moment with responsibility?...)
I just spent the last 20 minutes reading the posts we made while in Africa. It brought tears to my eyes, and actually made me a little uneasy as I was reminded how absolutely hard and tiring those 2 weeks were. Meeting your new children for the first time is quite amazing, but the whole process probably sounds more romantic than it actually was - we were tired, hot, unsure of ourselves as we dealt with completely out of the ordinary child-rearing/caring issues, doubting the wisdom of getting 2 preschoolers at once, and stressed out over various paperwork issues that inevitably come up no matter how detailed you are.
But here we are, a family, enjoying things we never dreamed imaginable that first week! (A good reminder that God can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine!). We have good days and bad days - but who doesn't? There are days I bask in the wonder and joy of being a mother, and days (like yesterday) I'd rather be laying on the beach with a good book! Days I make great parenting decisions and display amazing patience, and days I think my actions or words have screwed my kids up for life!
At then end of the day, you just have to look at the bigger picture - not where you are, but how far you've come, not who you are, but who God can help you become, and not how you'll do, but how much you will trust God to do in spite of you! At least, that's the perspective I'm trying to have these days.....